The Art of Civil Conversations: 9 Strategies for Parents

In today's polarized world, the art of civil conversation seems to be fading, with national leaders setting poor examples of dialogue. However, as parents, we have the opportunity and the responsibility to teach our children, and ourselves, how to engage in civilized conversations. Civil conversation requires that we demonstrate respect, listen and try to understand, and avoid attacking. It also necessitates the ability to disagree and maintain ongoing conversations. Here are nine strategies to help parents master the art of civil conversations with their children.

1. **Model Respectful Behavior**: Children learn by example. Ensure that your interactions with them, as well as with others, are respectful. This sets the foundation for how they will approach conversations in their lives.

2. **Active Listening**: Teach your children the importance of listening to understand, not just to respond. This involves giving the speaker your full attention, asking clarifying questions, and summarizing what you've heard to ensure understanding.

3. **Encourage Open-Mindedness**: Foster an environment where your children feel safe to express their opinions and listen to others' perspectives without judgment. This helps in developing empathy and open-mindedness.

4. **Practice Empathy**: Encourage your children to put themselves in others' shoes. This not only helps in understanding different viewpoints but also in reducing conflict.

5. **Set Ground Rules**: Establish clear rules for conversations at home, such as no interrupting, no name-calling, and always aiming to understand the other person's perspective.

6. **Teach Emotional Regulation**: Help your children understand and manage their emotions during conversations. This includes recognizing when they are getting upset and finding healthy ways to express and manage those feelings.

7. **Focus on Solutions, Not Victory**: Instead of trying to 'win' every argument, encourage your children to focus on finding solutions that consider everyone's needs and perspectives.

8. **Use 'I' Statements': Teach your children to express their feelings and opinions using 'I' statements, which are less confrontational and more likely to be heard.

9. **Reflect and Review**: After a conversation, take time to reflect on what went well and what could be improved. This helps in learning from each conversation and improving future interactions.

By implementing these strategies, parents can not only improve their own communication skills but also teach their children the invaluable skill of civil conversation. In a world that increasingly values polarization and conflict, the ability to engage in respectful, understanding, and ongoing conversations is more important than ever. It is through these civil conversations that we can foster empathy, understanding, and ultimately, a more united society.