How to Get People to Be More Civil

In the complex tapestry of human interaction, civil discourse stands as a cornerstone of healthy societies. It is through respectful dialogue that ideas are exchanged, perspectives are broadened, and solutions to collective challenges are forged. However, in recent years, the landscape of public discourse has become increasingly fraught with tension and polarization. Our recent research, however, suggests a subtle yet powerful way to foster greater humility in debate and reduce the polarization that plagues our conversations.

The crux of our study revolves around the concept of reflection on values, particularly the exploration of shared values. We found that when individuals take the time to consider not only their own core beliefs but also the values that they share with others, the tone and substance of their debates can shift dramatically. This shift is not merely cosmetic; it represents a fundamental change in how we approach disagreement.

Traditionally, debates have often been seen as zero-sum games, where one side must 'win' at the expense of the other. This adversarial mindset can quickly escalate into hostility, as each party seeks to invalidate the other's perspective. However, by focusing on shared values, we can reframe debates as collaborative endeavors aimed at finding common ground and mutually beneficial solutions. This shift in perspective requires a degree of humility—an acknowledgment that while we may hold different opinions, we are all striving for the betterment of our communities and society at large.

To illustrate this point, consider a typical political debate. Instead of immediately attacking an opposing viewpoint, participants might first identify the values that underpin their own stance. For example, if the debate centers around environmental policy, one might value sustainability, while the other prioritizes economic growth. Rather than dismissing each other's positions outright, they could explore how these values might be reconciled. Perhaps through innovative technologies, sustainable practices could be implemented without sacrificing economic prosperity. This approach not only fosters a more civil discourse but also leads to more creative and effective problem-solving.

Moreover, our research indicates that this method of value-based reflection can have a profound impact on reducing polarization. When individuals perceive that their opponents share many of the same values, it becomes harder to view them as adversaries. This shared understanding can break down the barriers that divide us and create a sense of unity and social cohesion.

Of course, implementing this approach is not without its challenges. It requires a willingness to engage with potentially uncomfortable ideas and to acknowledge the validity of perspectives that differ from our own. It also demands a level of emotional intelligence and empathy, as we strive to understand the values that motivate others. However, the benefits of such an approach are clear: a more civil and constructive public discourse, reduced polarization, and ultimately, a stronger and more resilient society.

In conclusion, the key to fostering greater civility in debate lies not in avoiding difficult conversations but in embracing them with a focus on shared values. By reframing disagreement as an opportunity for collaboration and mutual understanding, we can transform the way we engage with one another, leading to more respectful and productive exchanges. As we navigate the complexities of modern life, the importance of civil discourse cannot be overstated. It is through such dialogue that we can hope to address our most pressing challenges and build a future that reflects the best of our shared humanity.