What to Do When You Can't Decide About Divorce

Deciding whether to end a marriage is one of the most emotionally charged and complex decisions a person can face. Research reveals that a significant number of individuals contemplating divorce are not entirely sure if they want their marriage to conclude. This uncertainty can stem from various factors including emotional attachment, financial considerations, the impact on children, and the fear of unknown consequences. In such situations, discernment counseling emerges as a valuable tool to help couples navigate this turbulent time.

Discernment counseling is a short-term, structured approach designed specifically for couples on the brink of divorce who are ambivalent about their decision. Unlike traditional marriage counseling, which aims to resolve issues and save the marriage, discernment counseling focuses on helping couples gain clarity about their relationship's future. It encourages each partner to reflect on what brought them to this point, explore their options, and make a well-considered decision about whether to try to restore the marriage, proceed with divorce, or take more time to decide.

The process typically involves a series of sessions, usually no more than five, with a trained discernment counselor. These sessions are tailored to the unique circumstances of the couple and are aimed at fostering open and honest communication. The counselor helps each partner express their feelings and concerns without judgment, facilitating a deeper understanding of each other's perspectives. This can be particularly beneficial for couples who have struggled with communication in the past.

One of the key benefits of discernment counseling is the clarity it provides. By delving into the reasons behind the decision to divorce and exploring the potential consequences of both staying together and separating, couples can make more informed choices. This clarity can be empowering, helping individuals feel more confident in their decision, whether they choose to work on their marriage or part ways.

Additionally, discernment counseling can improve communication skills, which is a crucial aspect of any relationship. Learning how to express oneself effectively and listen empathetically can not only aid in the decision-making process but also lay the groundwork for healthier interactions in the future, regardless of whether the couple stays together or not.

In conclusion, for those wrestling with the decision to divorce, discernment counseling offers a pathway to clarity, improved communication, and informed decision-making. It provides a structured, supportive environment where couples can explore their options and make decisions that align with their values and long-term well-being. Whether the outcome is reconciliation or separation, engaging in discernment counseling can be a transformative experience, offering insights and skills that can benefit individuals in their future relationships.